Regression

I have been on a steady decline since the Rammstein concert.  Depression marches in, my weak opposition no match.  I don't know what to do.  I am invisible.  These feelings of helplessness and hopelessness render bleak all that I see.  I meditate and practice yoga frequently, but the pain always overwhelms.  On Thursday, the night of the concert, despite an overall feeling of calmness, I cried through my asanas for the first time ever; I couldn't even relax at the end in Corpse Pose because I could not stop weeping.  There is no shield against my deterioration; nothing to halt or turn back its advance.  I am surrounded by a silence so crushing that it oozes into my pores, fills my lungs with darkness with each struggling breath.

What is the point of this existence, anyway?  How many people, truly, would even notice if I am no longer here? 

I am alone.

And if this was my last post in this blog, no one but the Russian spam bots would know.