Thanksgiving

Yesterday was, of course, a national holiday invented for the sole purpose of feeling and/or expressing gratitude for the blessings each one of us has.  Really, I think it's about cultivating an awareness that is always with us, comforting us with the understanding of how truly lucky we are.  Unfortunately, Thanksgiving is now more about a rather stupid and pointless sport, and stuffing oneself to the point of pain.  Mindfulness is kind of a foreign concept in American culture, I'm afraid.

Nevertheless, I did my own part yesterday by thinking -- more than usual -- about the things for which I am grateful.  It helped me to overcome a bit of anger and unhappiness I was feeling about my boyfriend at the time, as we'd had something of a disagreement and had hurt each other's feelings.  I realized that, in spite of how I was feeling towards him, this was a night I did not want to spend apart.  And so he came over to my house to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family, and I am grateful that we were able to spend our first Thanksgiving together, side by side.

I was grateful for the day off of work, grateful for a good workout at the gym, grateful for the delicious homemade food in which I was able to partake, leaving me sated and nourished (but not in pain).

I made time for yoga and meditation that night.  When I meditate, I usually try to think of something before I begin that I will focus on.  Last night, I chose to focus on my personal mantra, which is from the VNV Nation song, "Perpetual," that I mentioned in my last post:

Let there always be never-ending light.

In "Perpetual," Ronan Harris sings, "Let there be, let there always be, never-ending light."  And so, my mantra takes two complete breaths:

Inhale: Focus on my breath

Exhale: "Let there be..."

Inhale: "Let there always be..."

Exhale: "Never-ending light..."

This system gives me abnormally sharp focus.  Ordinarily, even (especially) during meditation, my mind is quite heavily prone to wandering.  But the attention required to perform this particular sequence works well for me, and my mind wandered less than usual.  On my "silent" inhales, I imagined light stretching as far as the eye could see, surrounding my loved ones with warmth and strength.  It is an affirmative, comforting image for me.  There is light everywhere, all around us.  May we always feel it.

Namaste.